We can see the light

We traveled to Utah this Christmas for my little sister's wedding (which was lovely). Our kids are generally easy travelers, but this time was especially good. It's our first time having the youngest one be older than 2, and NOT having either an infant, or me very pregnant. I'm not gonna lie...it was awesome. 

For example, Kai was exhausted on the plane. He started to cry, and I held him and whispered in his ear, "If you're tired, you can just lean on me, suck your thumb, and close your eyes. Just rest on me, like you do at home, in your bed." And he did. Five minutes later he was asleep in my arms. No standing in the back of the plane, bouncing a cranky, chunky (read: very heavy) infant in your arms for an hour. No trying to discreetly nurse a baby on the plane. Just...calm talking. I even read a couple chapters in my book while the kids were coloring and watching plane movies. WHA???? Yep. I read.

I'm excited about the new parenting phase we're entering. I love the way kids learn and joke and critically think, as they get older. But I have loved fuzzy baby heads, diaper bums, and being pregnant too. One good phase slips away, and another good phase takes its place. I don't want to miss any of it. Because I know it will be gone in a moment, just like the pregnancy/infancy stage was. I know I will look back and miss the great parts of what I have today, like...

- children's artwork and scribbles taped all over my bathroom wall.

- sidewalk chalk all over ALL my kids clothes and hands this afternoon.

- the way Kai can't seem to get personal pronouns right. Ever. ("Where's mine blanket?"  "Have yours drink, Mom?" "Dane's car, his?").

- the way Elijah and I sometimes randomly make eye contact, and he suddenly smiles at me mischievously and starts busting a move, dancing and wiggling his bum all over the place, then stops just as suddenly, and walks off like nothing happened. (I totally hope he keeps doing this one well into adulthood, though. It's hilarious.)

- little Matchbox cars all. over. our. house.

- Dane's little arms slung over my neck after he crawls in bed to snuggle face to face with me, in the morning.

- Kai running all over the house naked, squealing and giggling, after he takes a bath and is dried off.

- Haven asking every single day, all day, if she can undertake some massive cutting/gluing/painting art project.

- elementary school Christmas concerts.

- handmade Christmas presents from kids, wrapped all skiwampus and taped with half a roll of tape.

- having noise and fullness in the house, all day long (I can't imagine how very quiet it must be when all your kids are in school...I'm not sure I will like that every day, and honestly, I'm glad we have a dog to be here with me).

- babies in footie pajamas.

- reading children's books out loud every day and watching Sesame Street sometimes. (I'm a fan of both, but...who does that if you don't have a sweet little reason sitting on your lap?)

-  little black, shiny boys' church shoes in the closet.

- brushing back Haven's unbelievably numerous, absolutely untame-able, constant whispies that hang all over her face. 

- missing-teeth smiles and late-night tooth fairy love.

- turning the corner to see Dane snuggling Apollo.

- Lego creations, bug houses made out of sticks and leaves, lizards "accidentally" being brought into (and temporarily lost in) our house, Play-Doh creations, Lincoln Log creations, and couch forts.

- notes left on my pillow with misspelled (but phonetically accurate) words and backwards e's. 

- children who ask me to kiss their ouchies and sing to them every night before bed.

Love this. She is reading, and he is "reading". They are happy together.

I love being their mother. It is not all roses and cherries, but I love the work. It feels significant, meaningful, fulfilling, challenging, and rewarding. It feels right. The older they get, the faster it goes. (I never felt like it went fast when it was just Elijah. Sometimes, I felt like the days dragged and dragged. We went for lots of walks and read a ton of books and took the long way home from the grocery store, and still there were just so many hours in the day. Sometimes I would call my mom and ask her to just keep talking to me. My house was immaculate because there was so much time to clean it. I never feel like that anymore. There are four of them, and they are older, and there are never enough hours in the day.) Life has picked up pace. I don't want NOW to pass me by. 

Kai borrowed his snow pants from his cousin Kobe, who is obviously a girl. He's cool with it. Real men wear pink.

So today, I'm grateful for today. 

Only Dane does that face with those hands, in a FAMILY PICTURE IN FRONT OF THE CHRISTUS STATUE. For real?? That child, I tell you. He is something else!

What are you grateful for today?