Since I started nursing school ten years ago, I've had a deep desire to watch open-heart surgery. It's unlikely I'll ever get the chance to do it...those surgeries are so intense and the infection risk is so high that they pretty much never let anyone "extra" in. I am fascinated by the heart. I think I might have been a cardiothoracic surgeon in another, more intelligent life of mine.
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I use that to preface the experience I had this morning. (Warning: this is graphic and will make you feel gross all over. Read at your own risk.)
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Dane has a crazy, raging diaper rash, so I let him walk around naked for a while this morning. (Always a little risky, but by far the best way to clear up a diaper rash, so...I went for it.) About 15 minutes before we needed to take Eli to school, I went back to the kids' bedroom to get some clothes for Eli and Haven. Suddenly I heard Eli say, "Well somebody needs a diaper change!"
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I answered, "What are you talking about? Dane doesn't even have a diaper on, silly!"
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My stomach lurched when he replied, "Well, he sure smells like poop!!"
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Yeah. You guessed it. The next 15 minutes found me dry heaving while washing poo from the entire lower half of Dane's body (including between his toes and under his toenails), scrubbing piles of baby poo from all over the living room carpet, as well as all the little poo footprints leading from the living room clear back into my bedroom. All this while I just ran back to the kids' room for some clothes.
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We barely managed to get Eli to school on time (I know, major props to me, right?), and when we got home, I called David to inform him that I was nominating myself for Mother of the Year as a result of my morning experience. He expressed sympathy, then told me I didn't want to know what he was doing. "That's alright--one of us should have a good morning. What are you doing?" I asked. His answer? "Listening to Josh tell me all about the open-heart surgery he just got to scrub in for. It's so amazing to hear him talk, Linz."
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My immediate thought was that years ago, I traded the open-heart surgery dream of mine in for the poo-scrubbing one I was living just this morning. Somewhere in my heart I knew I had chosen the better end of the deal, but...I had to dig pretty deep to find it.
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Living the dream, baby. Livin' the dream.
4 comments:
you are so awesome :) this made me laugh!
Wow, now that's a Mom moment for the books. I'm sure every mom goes through that at least once! Hopefully not more, though. And yes, you chose right--open heart surgery, eh. Big deal. Being a mom is way better!
I'm so there with you! Nothin' harder than being a mom, and nothin' better. Its a crazy world. If you can tackle poop, you can tackle anything! You are a hero! And I'm sure someday you will live your "other dream". Your family is beautiful!
I have totally been there! Motherhood, at least for the first 3 years of a kids life seems to revolve around cleaning up poo. But you are right--it's worth it. I wouldn't trade my job for any other.
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