This weekend I was putting in a load of laundry when I heard the microwave start running. I was a little confused by that, since David was at work, so I poked my head in the kitchen to see what was going on. I saw Dane, standing on a chair by the microwave, looking at the toy tea set plate and three wooden cookies he was microwaving. When he saw me he looked up cheerfully and announced, "Make cookies for dinner!!!" as if his explanation would make me totally cool with the microwaving-toys thing. (It did not.)
This incident has inspired the formation of a new family rule:
1. No microwaving toys.
This rule falls into the "Things I Did Not Expect To Have To Specify To My Children" category. Our family has a number of other rules that fall into this same category. Dave and I keep a running list of them. Let's review some of the others:
2. No driving matchbox cars on your baby sister's face.
3. No licking the inside of car windows.
4. No standing on the side of the tub to jump into the bath.
5. No holding poop.
6. No eating rocks.
7. No eating sidewalk chalk.
8. No persuading your little brother to eat sidewalk chalk.
9. No persuading the dog to eat sidewalk chalk.
10. Just...why is everyone trying to get the sidewalk chalk eaten??? Stop that.
11. No squishing live cockroaches in your hands.
12. No putting the remote control down your pants.
13. No running around naked when guests are over--you have to at least have pants on.
14. No wiping boogars on the couch, walls, beds, or counters.
15. No leaving the house (where the bathroom is) to pee in the front yard (where the neighborhood is).
16. No chasing siblings around with skewers, butter knives, dirty underwear, sticks, brooms, dirty diapers, fly swatters, or barbecue utensils.
17. No picking up dead animals to show Mom.
18. No throwing blocks at your dad's plasma tv (as you laugh hysterically) because your 18-month old brother "told you to."
Do you have rules like these in your household?
Any rule that makes you want to say, "Seriously??" before you say it, counts.
I would LOVE to hear them.
11 comments:
#10 is my favorite. My own family favorite is "no lifting soggy toilet paper out of the pee-pee water in the toilet."
no eating raw meat off the counter while i am cooking!!
hilarious! And totally needed! My girls are pretty cautious at this point, but I know Wesley is going to need some rules like this. He's 20 months so any rule I try to enforce now will fall on deaf ears. My girls are mostly messy, so I've started enforcing a "clean up after yourself so mom doesn't start twitching in annoyance" rule. :)
Oh Linds...yes, we have many of the same rules, and just added, no dipping shoes in the toilet- it will happen, so just laugh about it now!
I am crying, that made me laugh so hard...sounds a LOT like somebody elses house I've been to recently, and quite often!
Thanks for making me smile : }
lol. I literally laughed out loud at this. I hope you don't think I'm weird for reading your blog lindsey, I just spend a lot of time on the internet when I'm trying to avoid homework. I used to have a friend who chased me with boogers, so you might add that to your no chasing your siblings with, or no wiping your boogers on... Kristina (becky's sister)
LOL. I LOVE your posts. These are all very important rules. It seems that we never grow out of rules that make you say "duh." Like when I worked as a baggage handler they constantly had to drive home the rule of, "don't go in front of or behind the jet engines while they are running" ...SERIOUSLY? I guess we are just slow to learn.
No biting the Japanese tourists who want to take a picture with you. True story...more than once.
:)
Dearest Lindsey! I LOVE your blog!! It's so real and hilarious. I loved the list of rules so much I just had to mention it in my blog, I hope you don't mind. Our rules include issues such as: no coloring the inside of our ears with a pen and no forcing our feet into others mouth. :-) Oh one year olds.... :-)
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